The AP as written, but with what will likely be max hp, advanced template (minimum) enemies of greater than typical numbers (to account for player skill, 20 point buy, and increased PC numbers).

Character creation guide will be posted to the forum.

Recent Posts

Soraka Flow
The battle raged on, with Kaz blocking off the attackers, and my song inspiring the others:
Where were the Spiders,
While the fly tried to break our balls?
With just the beer light to guide us,
So we bitched about his fans,
And should we crush his sweet hands?

Ziggy played for time, jiving us that we were voodoo!
The kid was just crass, he was the nazz,
With god given ass!
He took it all too far, but boy could he play guitar!

Ne-los created an illusory ceiling, to block off the ogre spiders that were hanging from the roof. Things were looking bad, but fortunately Soraka was ready to heal the wounded. Eventually Pig, Boris, and Milah killed one of spiders. The other one that was on the ground harried at Kaz, but could not penetrate the defense Kaz was capable of mounting. So the battle raged on!

Making love with his ego,
Ziggy sucked up into his mind,
Like a leper messiah,
When the kids had killed the man,
I had to break up the band!

Ziggy played guitar…

One of the spiders on the roof tried to walk on the illusory ceiling, and fell in front of Milah. Buoyed by killing the previous enemy, our group pounced on the fallen ogre spider. Soraka uttered a cry like a horse whinny, as our death dealers hacked into the spider’s bulbous thorax, killing the thing. Our momentum seemed to grow, and it wasn’t long before the other two lay dead also.

We took our time, and searched through the various cells. There was very little of interest, most of the bones belonged to vermin, the original prisoners probably having decayed to dust centuries ago. So we continued to the west. (And my spirit was crying for leaving) The corridor out of the cellblock stretched about thirty feet, and bent to the south. There was a short flight of stairs, and the hall opened into a small room that appeared to have two cells, a door to the west, and a hall leading east that lead to a fountain. Pig went to investigate one of the cell doors. While he did that, I went over to look at the fountain.

The fountain appeared to be nondescript, but when I focused on it, I could detect magic from the conjuration school. After contemplating a bit, I seemed to recall that some healing magic had a similar aura. I told Kaz about it, and asked him to drink some. Kaz was still feeling the effects of some ogre spider poison, and after drinking from the fountain he felt a little better. I made notes of the minor healing effect of the fountain, perhaps Sheila would find that significant. We went back to see how Pig was making out with the door.

The door was old and rusted, but quite solid. When Pig finally opened it, the occupants were waiting to mob us.

Inside the room were gaunt, pale humanoids with a strange maw, and spindly arms ending in three-fingered claws, hunched on spindly dog-like legs. We would find out after that they were sinspawns, specifically wrathspawn. The wrathspawn were quite vicious, one of them savaging Pig as soon as he opened the door. Pig wailed, and cried out for healing. I had no performance left, but I sang anyway:

Arms in the air,
Stick out your tush!
Hands on your hips,
Give them a push!
You’ll be surprised,
You’re doing the French Mistake!

Kaz and Milah killed the sinspawn in the doorway, which seemed to give the others pause. Milah wanted to charge into the room, but the others were reluctant and called her off. So we played the waiting game. Milah grew impatient, and rushed into the room! The battle ensued, and we made short work of the sinspawn. I made notes; I knew Alaznist was fond of using flesh warped creatures. At the moment, it was a mystery, but perhaps we were in a flesh crafting laboratory of some sort.

Eventually, we made our way down a long hallway heading east. We came to a big, pillared room where there were several spider webs on the ceiling. Just as we were about to burn away the webs, a group of moon spiders came out of the webbing. They stayed on the ceiling, and annoyingly shot webs at us. When we shot back with ranged weapons, one of the spiders created an Obscuring Mist, making it very difficult for us to target them. They, on the other hand, seemed to be able to target us with their webs. However, the webs just proved to be annoying and ineffectual. After a while of this stalemate raging on, I decided to try and clear the mist away with some oil flasks. It was a tedious process, but the moon spiders seemed to panic, and eventually retreated.

With many of our resources spent, we decided to go back to Magnimar. I made my report, we re-stocked and headed back. When we got back to the chamber with the moon spiders, there were no signs of them. So we headed south, and came to what appeared to be some sort of ancient kitchen. While we were looking around several centipedes started crawling out of the cracks I the floor, forming a swarm. I was very impressed that the Spiders flew into action and destroyed the swarm before it could even harm us! I looked over at Soraka, and she exclaimed triumphantly, “POLYBIOUS!”

From there, we went west. There was a hall with several empty storage lockers. At the end of the hall, we came to what was probably some sort of meat locker. When we opened the door, we were confronted by a group of skeletal champions, and a skeletal mage. Kaz immediately dashed into the room at great risk to himself to confront the mage. I began to sing:

I, I wish you could swim,
Like the dolphins,
Like dolphins can swim,
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together,
We can beat them, forever and ever,
Oh, we can be heroes just for one day

As before, the skeletal champions proved to be very skilled opponents. They used cover and the doorway to their advantage. Milah was able to get into the room, but Pig seemed rather reluctant to join her. The rest of us were blocked off in the hallway. Boris was hampered by all of the cover, but managed to get a shot in every once in a while. Kaz did an admirable job of locking the mage down. Eventually, we managed to defeat them, but the skeletons put up a really good fight.

From the meat locker we had to back track a bit and take another hall to the west. Eventually the hall turned north and opened up into a large room with a statue of Alaznist on the north wall. As we entered, we were attacked by a trio of cave fishers. At first, we thought they were spiders, but we soon noticed the difference. The battle was short, but I still sang:

Maybe if I pray every, each night I sit there pleading
"Send back my dream test baby, she's my main feature"

We discovered that one of the cave fishers had a bag tied to its leg. Inside the bag were a number of strange stones and teeth that I gave to Pig for a snack, and a bracer, that matched the bracer the mite leader was using for a hat. After some discussion, we gave the bracers to Kaz. Looking around the room, we made some notes about the statue, and I tried to copy down some vague sketches of the murals.

Continuing west out of the room, the hallway eventually turned south, and lead to a stairway heading down to the next level. We descended the stairs, and entered a room with a coppery statue of Alaznist. Surrounding the statue were two gigantic abyssal larvae. The Spiders leapt forward to engage these monstrosities. I sang:

Billy rapped all night about his suicide,
How he'd kick it in the head when he was twenty-five,
Don't wanna stay alive when you're twenty-five…

Although Kaz valiantly leapt forward, the larvae ignored him, and focused their attacks on Pig. Pig was very dismayed by that, and screamed about dying. I would think by now he would have more faith in Soraka, she has never let us down, continuously hurting herself to keep us safe. My ode to Soaka:

A lasting moment to hold onto,
With regret the scent of time,
Tried and tested I never noticed,
The phantoms of her mind,

Crescent moon I'm cutting through,
Paste up warnings fill the sky,
Smoking embers, I remember,
Time and time again to try…

To live in light,
To sink within her,
I think of light,
Time to blame to borrow from your past,
Elapsed… Collapsing…

She's not insane!
She's gone insane!

And if the root of silence pulls me off,
And love is lost not from my heart,
I sit upon this throne that throws me off,

And she falls backwards to the floor,
And forwards to the back,
She says elapses all my truth again,
She's the one I live for,

I live alone...
She's the one I live for,
I live alone...

Burns inside horribly,
She lifts me to,
The spirit burns the darkest hours,
My corrupt brain is hurting,
Once again the door lies quiet,
Left alone I'm thinking of her,
Sitting the burning clock of time…

The abyssal larvae were fierce, and caused a lot of damage, but Soraka saved the day, and kept us going. After we defeated the maggot infested, bloated worms, we examined the statue. The ransuer she was holding appeared to be separate and magical. We managed to pry the weapon away, to take with us. The statue itself seemed to be some sort of scrying device. Perhaps Alaznist still watches? We will see…
Session: Game Session 14 - Friday, Jun 30 2017 from 5:30 PM to 10:00 PM
Viewable by: Public
Gotta Have More Soraka
Having nowhere else to go from the throne room, we backtracked to where we fought the ogre spider, and searched through there. Kaz discovered a secret door that lead to a hallway that went north and south.. From there we went south, with Kaz sneaking along ahead to scout. The hall stretched some forty feet or so to a spacious room. Unfortunately, the enemies were expecting us, and launched an ambush. As the enemies attacked Kaz, we attempted to pour out from the cramped secret passage. I needed to get into the open so the Spiders could see my banner. When I finally squeezed past, I started singing:

Sits like a man,
But he smiles like a reptile,
She loves him, she loves him but,
Just for a short while,
She'll scratch in the sand,
Won't let go his hand
He says he's a beautician,
And sells you nutrition,
And keeps all your dead hair,
For making up underwear,
Poor little Greenie...

Kaz was able to defend against the onslaught, and our Spiders rushed forth. Soraka emerged from the secret passage, and shouted: “Weegwegwallow!” As we fought the mites, who threw several darts, two giant spiders crawled through the webs on the ceiling, and sprayed down their webs. Boris and Milah made short work of them, though. It looked like we were winning the day, when suddenly a mist appeared. The Spiders could not see me, I had to advance. Soraka fearlessly ran into the fog, crying a new battle cry: “WOMBATATEMYBREAKFAST!!!” I was a little concerned, I wondered if Soraka was trying to take my job, and inspire the Spiders on her own. As I emerged on the other side of the cloud, the mites lay dead. We searched the bodies, and took what little they had in the way of valuables. They seemed to be rather poor, though.

There was an exit leading to the west, but I wanted to back north to see if the hallway linked up to the other areas we had already mapped out. I was correct, but we also discovered a loose flagstone. Kaz pulled it open, revealing a cavity in the floor. As he did so, several small spiders poured out of the cavity. It was a spider swarm! Kaz moved away before the swarm could envelop him, but Pig and Boris were not so lucky. Soraka yelled “WEEGUM-WAGUM”, and pulled an oil flask out of her backpack. I knew the swarm was quite deadly, but I needed to stay close enough to aid my allies. I began to sing:

See these tears so blue,
An ageless heart,
That can never mend,
These tears can never dry,
A judgement made,
Can never bend...

Ne-Los cast a Burning Hands spell on the swarm, burning some of the bugs away. Then I blasted it with a Chord of Shards, dispersing the swarm, and destroying most of them. Looking in the cavity, we found a bag where (presumably) the mites kept the bulk of their treasure. We gathered up the coins, and went back to the mite's common room, then headed west.

The hallway stretched on for a while, then ended in a staircase leading down. Yet another level beneath The Crow! We descended down the stairs and found ourselves in an area with lots of spider webs. We could go south or west. We could hear something stirring to the west, so we decided to go that way. We came to an intersection from which halls spread in the four cardinal directions. Along the west, north, and south halls there were several doors, to small chambers or cells most likely. We were about to investigate, when four ogre spiders crept down the passage to attack. We were just barely able to create a choke point before they set upon us! In the face of such deadly opposition, I had to sing one of my best songs:

Ziggy played guitar,
jamming good with Wierd and Gilly,
And The Spiders from Mars.
He played it left hand,
but made it too far,
Became the special man,
Then we were Ziggy's Band.

Ziggy really sang,
Screwed-up eyes and screwed-down hairdo
Like some cat from Tian,
he could lick 'em by smiling
He could leave 'em to hang
He came on so loaded man,
Well-hung and snow white tan.

(This was where we left off)
Session: Game Session 11 - Friday, Jun 02 2017 from 5:30 PM to 10:00 PM
Viewable by: Public
If it keeps on hurtin', Soraka's gonna heal...
We continued our battle with the giant spiders. I moved forward into the room so the party could see our standard. A couple more giant spiders leapt down from above. Fortunately the duplicate image Ne-los cast distracted my would be attacker. Milah and Pig both got bitten, and both seemed to be suffering from the spider's venom. Soraka did well to absorb most of the physical damage, and our fighters stayed in the fray. As always, the inevitable onslaught of the Spiders From Mars turned the tide, and the ogre spider fell. Eventually it was a matter of time, though it was time we almost didn't have. While Pig managed to shrug off the effects of the poison, Milah seemed very susceptible. We tried the means at our disposal, but were ineffective against the poison. It was looking very dire, but then the venom ran its course, and Milah survived. Albeit very weakened.

The party decided to head back to Magnimar, to help Milah recover and get some better supplies to deal with poison. We sold some loot, and bought an antidote kit and some anti-plague vials. I made my report to Sheila Heidmarch, and rested for the night.

The next day it appeared Milah would still need some rest, so I decided to play a gig at a tavern called The Salvatore Scream. Things started off ok, but then I decided to try an new song I'd been experimenting with:

Say something, I'm giving up on you,
I'll be the one, if you want me to,
Anywhere I would've followed you,
Say something, I'm giving up on you,

And I am feeling so small,
It was over my head,
I know nothing at all,

And I will stumble and fall,
I'm still learning to love,
Just starting to crawl...

The crowd was mostly silent, except for Pig. He apparently came to watch my show, and seemed to be very emotionally affected by the music. He started blubbering and carrying on, which seemed to put off the rest of the crowd. I didn't make much that evening, but sometimes that's the way it goes... Bunch of savages in this town...

The next day, we went back to The Crow, climbing all the way up. Then all the way down several flights of stairs. After all that, we finally made it back to the spider's chamber. We decided to go south, and it lead to a chamber with several mites. One of the mites appeared to be a king or a priest of some sort, he wore a special crown. There was also a mite “bard”, if you could call him that. Upon entering, we decided to dispense with any negotiations and just get rid of them. I started singing:

You've got your mother in a whirl,
She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl!

Hey babe, your hair's alright,
Hey babe, let's go out tonight,
You like me, and I like it all,
We like dancing and we look divine,
You love bands when they're playing hard,
You want more and you want it fast,
They put you down, they say I'm wrong,
You tacky thing, you put them on!

These mites proved to be cunning, and used their magic fairly well, but as we carved our way into the room it became apparent that they were no match for us. Soon we were victorious again.

We searched the “throne room” and collected anything of note. The unusual hat that the leader mite was wearing proved to be a bracer. It was magical, but without the other bracer it was unusable. Perhaps we would find the matching bracer somewhere close by.

(This was where we left off)
Session: Game Session 10 - Friday, May 19 2017 from 5:30 PM to 10:00 PM
Viewable by: Public
Everyone Loves Soraka
Our group headed back to the Heidmarch Manor, we sold some of the relics to the Society and set about disposing of the other loot we received.

After the minor duties were taken care off, we discussed whether or not to spend some downtime on training or just head back right away. We had enough money, so the consensus was to spend six days training and preping for our next foray. I didn't think of it, I could have commissioned a pierrot costume...

We headed back to the Crow, climbing the several flights of stairs to the top floor, then descending down again, past the rune-covered door, to a level that we surmised may be under the waters of the bay. As we descended down the last set of stairs, Ne-los used one of his new spells to create illusory duplicates of the Spiders. Suddenly we were in stereo...

The stairs ended in a short hall, that lead to a room with several large mounds of dirt in it. There was an eerie quiet. As we entered the room, a giant worker ant emerged from the top of one of the mounds. Perhaps it alerted the others telepathically, as more ants emerged from the other mounds, including what appeared to be a queen near the back of the room. Our party moved forward to meet the threat, and I sang:

Oh no, not me!
I never lost control,
You're face to face,
With The Man Who Sold The World...

While Ne-Los used his illusions to distract the queen, Milah dashed forward and savagely clawed a worker ant. I was amazed at how the ant managed to stay alive. It was as if the ants had there own telepathic bard singing:

I want the touch of your charms,
The heat of your breath,
I want to say all those things, dirty things,
That would be better unsaid...

Could it be that the ant's hive mind was more intelligent than we thought? Could they be capable of passion? Their telepathy seemed to have a raunchiness to it... The ants pressed their attack, and it seemed like things were getting dire. Soraka moved up from the rear to try and support the front line. The queen ant, having figured out the illusion, moved forward. It managed to grab Milah in its mandibles. I used my magic to cast a grease spell, to help Milah escape. At this, Pig guffawed, “Huh-huh! He greased the pussy!” Probably a concept Pig was well aware of, since it was unlikely any woman he ever had experience with could ever get aroused enough to lubricate on their own...

Things were still pretty dire, so I moved forward, past our line. It was generally not my mien, but anyone can be a hero, just for one day. I went over the mound, and with a running punch, I smote a worker ant. As if on cue, the rest of the Spiders surged and killed the other four worker ants. With all of her minions gone, it was just a matter of time before we toppled the queen.

We searched the room, and Soraka healed the party, getting us back to fighting strength. Pig discovered a hidden passage, and within we could hear the sounds of what seemed like mining. Kaz, Pig, and Milah squeezed through the narrow passageway as quietly as they could. They discovered a cavern where a group of mites appeared to be mining. Realizing that they would have a huge advantage if we were stuck in the passage, our group surged through the opening, hoping to catch them off guard. Fortunately it worked, and I was able to squeeze in far enough to keep our banner in sight. I began to sing:

Time and again I tell myself,
I'll stay clean tonight,
But the little green wheels are following me,
Oh, no, not again...

Mites are loathsome creatures that pose very little threat on their own. It took little work to dispatch the pathetic creatures. After the battle, we searched the room. Other than construction debris, there was nothing of note. Pig decided to take the Mite's studded leather armor. While I was turned away, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Pig seemed to bite one of the mites in the crotch. Not sure what that was about. I recalled that Pig struggled somewhat in the ant battle because he kept trying to bite the ants in the thorax. Could there be a connection?

We followed the other passageway out of the quarried area, and it lead to an oval room. Looking upward, Kaz noticed there were webs on the ceiling. He threw a torch up there, which agitated the spiders that were in the webs. A great ogre spider came down. Pig and Kaz rushed into the room to attack it, and got jumped by two giant spiders. Milah also rushed in to confront the ogre spider. I started to sing:

I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you,
I'm the space invader, I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for you,
Keep your mouth shut,
you're squawking like a pink monkey bird,
And I'm busting up my brains for the words

(This was where we left off)
Session: Game Session 9 - Friday, May 12 2017 from 5:30 PM to 10:00 PM
Viewable by: Public
Princess Sassy Pants Horse
After we defeated Ayala, I felt the Tower Girls probably wouldn't be much of a threat. At this point it didn't seem like there was any reason to leave Soraka to guard the boats. So I called out to her:

See her prancing,
She come neighing, she comes,
A horse nation,
See her prancin', she neighing comes!
See her prancin',
She come neighing and she neighing comes!

Shortly after I heard her hooves clopping on the stones. The Weegwegwallow was back!

We went back to the rune covered doors, and opened them again. The hall on the other side seemed as though it had not been used in a very long time. The hallway went for some seventy feet or so, then ended at a staircase going down. We went down the stairs, and as far as we could reckon, seemed to be back on the main floor.

To the north, there was what appeared to be a slime covered, bat guano encrusted, pool. Very cautiously, we tried to use oil to burn some of the scum off, but we really seemed to struggle with that. Pig, for whatever reason, kept saying that we should “dip the bard in the pool”. Everyone was appaled at such a crazy suggestion, but then I realized he was associating the word “bard” with “codpiece”, and he wanted to dip his own crotch into the pool. I was about to let him dip his junk in the pool, when we roused the ire of a gray ooze that happened to be laying there hidden in the water. While the ooze wasn't a particularly lethal foe, it did present a bit of a challenge as it was covered in acid. I sang:

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky,
We know Major Tom's a junkie,
Strung out on heaven's high,
Hitting an all time low...

Fortunately, Kaz's Aasimar heritage protected him from the acid while he pummeled the ooze with his bare hands! The others warily attacked, being careful not to get too much acid on their weapons. Overall, we handled the situation much better than our effort to burn the scum!

After a quick search of the pool, when went into the next room, which appeared to be a change room. It was also infested with bat guano, but I suppose that the bats were not present because it was still daytime. In a washbasin, we discover two giant amoebas! The mindless creatures lurched forward to feed on us. Unfortunately for them, I was just warming up:

Sailors fighting in the dance hall,
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go,
It's the freakiest show,
Take a look at the Lawman,
Beating up the wrong guy,
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know,
He's in the best selling show,
Is there life on Mars?

The battle was fairly quick, and the Spiders made short work of the amoebas. Mindless creatures rarely ever have treasure, but we managed to find an old silver bracelet in the basin where the amoebas were. At this point we had to backtrack, and go down a different passage. It seemed as though the passage was damaged a bit, and seemed to lead to a chamber that sloped down toward a pool. In the pool were two rather large spiders that were eating a dolphin. Our front line decided to spread out, and draw the vermin to us. I positioned myself so the Spiders could see our banner, and sang:

Time and again I tell myself,
I'll stay clean tonight,
But the little green wheels are following me,
Oh, no, not again,

I'm stuck with a valuable friend,
"I'm happy. Hope you're happy, too."
One flash of light,
But no smoking pistol...

The large spiders were resilient, but did not pose much of a threat. Again, the Spiders From Mars were victorious. We examined the pool, and it seemed like it led out into the bay. We could theoretically swim out from there, but since few of us were good swimmers, it would be unlikely. So we backtracked again. All we had left was a stairway heading down. (Stairway to hell?) As we descended, Boris discovered a secret door on the stairway. I couldn't help but think:

When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed,
With a word she can get what she came for.

The party went down the passage behind the secret door. After a stretch of hallway, there was a chamber that had an open section that led into a pool, some ten feet below. In the middle of the pool was a pillar, and someone had lain a plank from the edge of the room to it. On the pillar was a bucket.

Kaz nimbly crossed the plank over to the pillar, noting that the plank seemed partially rotten. Pig tossed him over a rope, and Kaz wrapped it around his waist a few times. Inside the bucket were several dead bats – not exactly fresh, but recent enough to suggest that someone must be using this chamber from time to time.

Kaz took a bat, and went to return back to us. As we expected, the plank broke. Pig seemed to be caught off guard, and almost let Kaz fall into the water. Fortunately, he was able to re-grab the rope. With Kaz safely on the edge of the pool, he dropped the dead bat into the water. Moments later, a really large black widow spider appeared, with a couple of smaller cohort-like spiders. A battle ensued, and I sang:

Making love with his ego,
Ziggy sucked up into his mind,
Like a leper Messiah,
When the kids had killed the man I had to break up the band!

The black widow proved to be quite potent, and did not die easily. I actually ran out of performance, and had to switch to a less inspiring song:

Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming,
It's not easy to stop from screaming,
But words escape me when I try to speak,
Tears they flow but why am I crying?
After all I am not afraid of dying,
Don't I believe that there never is an end?

We were able to defeat the monstrous vermin with few minor injuries. At this point we discussed possibly heading back to Magimar.
Session: Game Session 8 - Friday, Apr 21 2017 from 5:30 PM to 10:00 PM
Viewable by: Public
See more posts...
Game Master:
Pathfinder Core Setting (3.5)
149 other campaigns in this setting
Rule System: