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I am not sure what the fuss was about. This Chillreaver was a close combat specialist. Just contain him and shoot him and no one needed to get hurt. Oh wait. Almost everyone I am with is exactly the same. Oh well Kineera and I came out fine. They did get to rescue this Marc fellow and so now can return the Seed of Winter to its rightful owner. I will probably get to help them with their raid on the garrison but after that my duty will be fulfilled and I can get back to civilized company. Not that Total Victory five has not been interesting and educational mind you. And I did get to travel to places I never imagined I would go. But I must go where duty sends me.
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oh yeah....
Hey Chillreaver... how'd you like that be-atch?
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We win! (for reals this time)
So tinkerfail has been giving me the stink eye all day... what the hell man?

Kriv and esophogus engage in one on one epic boss battle. We weren't watching because we were engaged in our own secret super spy activities. Corrin agrees to be my wing man and I go talk up evil-hot devil-girl. Turns out she's into long walk on the beach and trading slaves, so it was a little more awkward than usual to find something to talk about. I really think she likes me though, and once I convinced her that Catch-phrase would probably totally be into slave trading too, she seemed to warm up to me alot.

So all of a sudden Cyclops attack! And not the guard Cyclops either or the cousin of Catch-phrase but evil Cyclops from the land of Bob Segar!!!! So Wingman and I head off to beat them senseless and after piling up an enormous pile of cyclops corpses to block of the entranceway, for some reason they stopped attacking us.

We head back to check on Kriv when we run into the rest of the group, who are bragging about killing one cyclops.. so we don't want to burst their bubble and talk about the thirty or so we just wasted... we'll let little Tinkerfail have his moment in the sun...

Turns out that there's this magic mirror that will reveal esophogus' true form - ANOTHER exarch of Tiamat... geez we're up to our eyeballs in exarchs lately... everywhere we turn... So this guy is apparently the exarch of lameness, because we drop down (thanks to Catchphrase's magic disappearing floorboards) to save Kriv from his kind of embarrassing whiffle bat attempts to hurt him... we stomp lame-zark pretty hard and he disappears to someday return to be smacked around by us again at some future date.

He should probably reconsider showing up again though... just saying... probably alot easier people to try and pick on then Total Victory Five-plus-traitor-fairy!!!!
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Giant Success
Well Kriv went into the battle with Sopocles. I should have offered to cast status on us so we would know how things were going when we split up but i didn't. Kriv just seemed so confident and the rest of us were just wandering around an enemy fortress. It all seemed so simple.
Corrin and Tyrion went to talk to the other emissaries but claim to have fought an entire army of cyclopses. Thousands they say. I think Tyrion tends to exaggerate.
Ashe, Kineera and I went to search Sophocles' room and found all the vital clues. It seems that Sophocles was really a disguised exarch of Tiamat and we had to break an expensive mirror to reveal him. I think that that part was the hardest on Kriv.
Kineera stayed behind to collect and carry stuff while Ashe and I went to make sure the route to the throne room was safe. It wasn't by the way. The world's biggest cyclops crashed straight through a wall between us and the throne room. Ashe and I valiantly rushed forward into combat with this monolithic monster. It put up a great fight and pounded poor Ashe almost into powder. Ashe's fierce will to fight was amazing. He seemed to take vicious blows that would kill a dozen lesser men and kept coming back for more. Eventually even his bloodthirsty rage was exhausted and he was forced to retreat and I was left alone to battle the creature. I knew that if it got past me it would kill Ashe and I could not let that happen. I cried my defiance to the universe and threw everything I had into the fray and the giant did the same. The struggle seemed to last an eternity but by winters inevitable power I triumphed.
Kineera arrived and we went in to talk to Catchlain. Through the floor we could see that Kriv was giving a decent account of himself but his defeat was inevitable. Inevitable, I like that word, its not really true though, anything can always happen, but it just sounds so impressive, inevitable. Well Kineera broke the platinum mirror and Kriv's heart revealing the true face of the Exarch of Tiamat. It was a bit like his human face only more snakelike or a big plie of snakes, or a really big snake with arms or a floating ghostly blob. I guess if you serve Tiamat you have to have multiple faces even if they are not on the same body. Catchlain opened the floor so we could jump down and help Kirv. Well fall down in some cases. I guess Tyrion and Corrin showed up at some point. I didn't really notice. Ex-Sophocles said he wouldn't underestimate us because of the defeat of Chillreaver (apparently another exarch of Tiamat). Either he was lying or not counting on the power I brought to the battle because we kicked him around the room pretty easily. It was kind of sad in the end when Kineera just threw him into the pit and he floated up as the blob thing and we just blasted him into ash (the dusty stuff not the blood mad barbarian). Its not like he's dead or anything. He is an Exarch which I guess is sad because we will probably see him again and we was annoying and talked too much.
With his defeat though Catchlain was freed from his sinister influence and readily agreed to an alliance with Indzira against Sanguin who is obviously working with Tiamat and we don't need some astral deity poking their noses into the affairs of the Feywild. Even someone as Fomorian as Catchlain could see that. He also told us of some base somewhere wasn't really paying attention. I think we are going to attack it tomorrow. Maybe we can use the Walk Crossroad ritual. It usually makes things interesting.
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Rakshasa's totally wrecked lunch!
We go speak to esophogus and he invites us to dinner, which kind of seemed suspicious like, but we were due for a snack anyways, so what's the worst that can happen? There's a whole bunch of people in here who were apparently all snubbed by King Catchphrase. There was a satyr there named Newton who had this irritating habit of repeating everything he said, then wondered why Catchphrase wouldn't see him. wouldn't see him. seriously it was like two minutes and Best Buddy Ashe was wanting to punch this guy out. There was a relative of Catchphrase there that was a cyclops, who couldn't even get an audience, and this mildly hot devil-girl who looked bad in a good way. Kriv kept emphatically telling me "no Tyrion" whenever I started to go over and talk with her. Then Sharon, Lois and Bram Ironfell showed up. Remember Bram? The douchiest dwarf that ever douched? Yep, that guy, looking all sad and trapped by his gith-bad escorts that were obviously guarding him. Good on ya douche... good on ya... there might be a lesson in there about not being a dick.

So Kriv insisted on bribing esophogus into petitioning catchphrase on our behalf. Ashe started talking all funny and twitching his eye at us. We thought he must be having a seizure so we put a splint in his mouth and held him down for a bit. He didn't seem to like it very much, but we probably saved his life so he should be thanking us. Esophogus left with Kriv's money. I told Kriv that I thought that maybe esophogus might be a bad guy, so he went running off after him to get his money back. Problem was, when he did, esophogus went and smooth talked him into giving it back. Sigh.. poor Kriv, I TOLD him this was a bad plan, but he did it anyways. Dragonborn are loyal friends, but sometimes they're kind of derps.

Anyways it turns out that esophogus poisoned all the food. Good thing that the mildly hot devil-girl made me so nervous I couldn't eat anything. A bunch of weird backwards hands tiger things tried to ambush the sleepy guests and sort of sleepy total victory five. This was not greeaaaat at all, despite what the tiger things kept saying.

So we smashed up the tigers which were actually rakshasa's who remember everything and hold a grudge when they're reincarnated. Hope that one remembers when I punched him in the nose and he cried like a little girl. That was awesome.

Anyhow, we wake up our friends and the rest of the guests and finally head after esophogus... Kriv protesting the whole time and mad at ME for absolutely no reason at all.... I think he didn't want to feel like a dummy for handing over all that cash... it didn't even cheer him up when we brought up the super expensive astral skiff he left tied to a dock with a rope. Yeah, no one will walk off with that... not with that rope you got on there... might even have two knots on it.

Anyways, Tinkerfail decides to use his magic fairy nob to get us past the locked doors, just in time to interrupt esophogus and Catchphrase in a conversation that might have been private. As in requiring a locked door. We announce to Catchphrase that esophogus is totally a bad guy who stole Kriv's money and then didn't even bribe the King like we asked AND totally had rakshasas ambush and kill people who HE drugged. Kriv was so shocked and surprised at this new information that he just kind of lost it. poor guy... and challenged esophogus to a mighty one on one duel to settle this once and for all! King Catchphrase agreed and they were led off to fight. In the meantime we spoke to the cyclops who said esophogus "took ma job" and find out that she was betrayed by esophogus just like poor dim Kriv. We could probably have used this information earlier, but then we wouldn't get to see epic Kriv on Esophogus mega-battle!

This is gonna be awesome.....

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Diner and a show
After we got the beasties back in their cages the guards were surprisingly truthful. They took us to Sophocles the seneshal and told them of our bold exploits. They didn't tell it very well but they probably didn't see half of what was going on. Sophocles was so impressed by our success that he invited us to a banquet. I am not sure what bad experiences Ashe has had at dinner in the past but this put him on edge and he claimed that Sophocles was the bad guy. This did not stop Tyrion and Kriv from trying to bribe Sophocles to intercede with Catchlain for us. Then there was some odd confusion when he left the room where they demanded their money back and then insisted that he take it. It is sometimes hard to follow this mortal logic.
Oddly enough, or maybe just paranoids are right sometimes, it turns out Ashe was right. The food was poisoned and the people guarding it turned into big cat creatures and not the big cuddly kind you could distract with a bowl of milk. No these were mean tiger types that tried to eat what at this table we shall loosely refer to as people. Maybe Ashe wasn't right. We were invited to a banquet and eating was intended. Maybe we were just wrong about who the guests were. Though that seems silly because who wants to eat poisoned food anyway. Besides us I mean.
It all becomes something of a blur here. The poison was making us sleepy and slow. people were dropping like flies. From the poison on our side and from being mercilessly pummeled on the kitty side. In the end only Tyrion, Ashe, and I remained upright. I think Ashe's suspicions kept him from eating too much and my noble blood and dedication to duty kept me going. Not so sure about this Tyrion fellow though. He seemed unaffected by the poison and was the one who insisted on giving Sophocles the money then tried to make it look like it was Kriv's plan. On the other hand he was a big help in the battle. He bears some closer scrutiny though.
When we had mostly shaken off the effect poison we went in pursuit of Sophocles. The place was in complete chaos and would have been a perfect time to escape. Our missions were not yet complete and there was still hope. Duty and honor made the course clear. At least for me. TVF may just have a problem with multiple option situations.
We found that the Seneshal was in conference with the King and we could not go in because there was a closed door. My great intellect and mighty mystic powers were once again necessary to circumvent this impossible obstacle. Inside we found Sophocles talking to Catchlain which rather surprised the members of TVF even though everyone had told us that was what was happening. Now at this point I would have said there was a traitor who let in assassins, we should look for someone with authority carrying a suspicious amount of money. Instead they went with - we tried to bribe your seneshal and he tried to keep the money from you. For some reason Sophocles denied this and Catchlain believed his trusted adviser not the people from his oldest enemies court. This has led to a trial by combat between Kriv and Sophocles. It could get very bad for us if Kriv loses. How tough could this Sophocles be. I mean if they are right he is just a spy cunning enough to sneak a bunch of assassins into a fortress full fo suspicious giants and confident enough to operate alone in a fomori city where if you get caught being executed is the light sentence.
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We win! no we lose! oh wait we win again!
So we're all like, "hey Catchphrase, check out how good we battled, beat up all your champions... and stuff" and he was totally ignoring us! What a jerk! He just kind of grunted all bored and stuff, not even giving us any snappy one liners or anything! I mean how did this guy become King Catchphrase anyways??? Why would everyone call him that???

Anyways, he was all like "kill each other, uggg" and we were all like "no way man, total victory five plus traitor-fairy don't play that way" and just as we were about to beat the ugly right out of him, he pressed a magic button which apparently transports anyone he's annoyed with into a holding cell. So this apparently will end us in an infinite loop because even if we get out of here and try to stop him, he's going to just press his "I win" button and transport us back in here.

So first thing's first and we gotta get out of here. We tried bullying our way out, telling the lacky that we were going to bust out and beat everyone up in true Total Victory Five plus traitor fairy style.. but they didn't appear to be too worried.

A gnome in a nearby cell offers to help us break out and we're all, "sure little guy, you can spring this place with us" but then we have another plan to talk to esophagus to see if HE is really the real king (as he seems actually more capable to throwing out a catchphrase or two and the Formorian King seems like kind of a derp). We demand to see esophagus and the guards take us to go speak to him. Unfortunately for our creepy gnome buddy, our ADD kicked in and we forgot him in his cell. We're pretty good at remembering to come back for prisoners though, so I'm sure we'll be back!

So the Cyclops guards bring us out of there, and suddenly there's these little dudes springing all the dangerous animals from the dangerous animals pens. This normally would be a time to point out the risks inherent with having dangerous animal pens in your house, but there was no time, and the guards offered to put in a good word with King Catchphrase if we helped them out. So sure, seemed like a good plan, what could go wrong? Oh right... there was a roper here as a guard who apparently slept right through the whole little dudes springing all the dangerous animals from the dangerous animal pens part and only woke up in time to start beating US up! Not cool Mr. Roper... not cool.

So we help the guards out, who apparently forget they can tell the roper to stop attacking us this whole time. We're able to get the dangerous animals back into the dangerous animals pens.

Apparently the quick little dudes are part of Bob Segar's evil plans. Which apparently are to let loose the pets in the house to run amok. I mean seriously Bob Segar? That's your evil plan? Make the fomorians have to chase their pets back in their cages??? Yeah I can see why the whole of the Fey Wild has to ally against your ultimate power. We better stop him before he loosens all the lids on the salt shakers next...
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It turns out they were completely right! Volunteer pit fighting like slaves did totally change Catchlain's opinion of us. We went from honored messengers of another court who should be demeaned to being pointless slaves who if we were not killing in an entertaining fashion could be ignored. Such an improvement. I was just getting to truly appreciate how far their negotiation skill had gotten us when Catchlain himself upped the ante for us all. He requested that we kill each other and then he [I]might[I] listen to us. He even gave us our own nice cell to wait in and say our goodbyes to each other. Thankfully TVF are not quite so violent and uncivilized as to think this was a good idea. I think even Tyrion is getting the idea that negotiations are not going well.
Our first plan was to escape the cell and fight our way out of the city. The crazy bloodthirsty gnome in the back of the cell thought this was a great plan and wanted to come along. I am quite sure I could have gotten us out of the cell. My lock picking skills are quite impressive but before I could even really start Ashe's mercurial temperament kicked in again. We argued about options until they came to get us for the arena. Of course on the way Sanguin's forces attacked and tried to free some of the prisoners. We as heroic emissaries of a Fey Realm helped. Yes we helped re imprison the slaves so they could kill and die for the entertainment of the Fomori again. The guards we were helping did forget to mention that they had a roper working for them and did forget to tell the roper that we were helping them but luckily I talked to it and was able to rectify their inconvenient omission. They were so apologetic about the mix up at the end. Yes I guess TVF's ideas of keeping an open mind about Fomori are proving so much more useful than thinking about them as they are proven to be.
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Bob Segar must die!
So it turns out that Queen excema wants us to get King Catchphrase to ally with her against Bob Segar, who is the ultimate evil in the Feywild. Turns out the Firbolgs weren't such bad guys after all and were just messing with us with that whole trying to kill us thing... oh you guys!

So in a long history of people being traitorous bastards, Cobweb announce he had captured us for his queen. I mean really Cobweb? seriously? Where are you going to put us, in your little prison for ants? I mean how can we be prisoners if we can't even fit in the door?

zoolander? nobody... really?

So we're off to King Catchphrase's domain, all the while trying to make Cobweb see the many errors of his little ways in trying to capture us. We also have to apparently send him to tolerance camp for a while, as Kriv at one point screamed out in frustration "stop being racist you little winged nazi!"

So with that unpleasantness out of the way, we find out that we need to pitfight in order to earn King Catchphrase's respect. This is just the kind of thing we're good at, so we take his challenge! Corrin bravely stepped forward, intent on challenging the biggest and toughest of them to single combat! Way to go guy who slaughtered that barful of locals to save me but we're never going to talk about it because it's not something that he wants to brag about especially in front of the council guy!

To make a long story short we won.
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Onward and Downward
After defeating the Firbolgs and their minions we decided to check on their lair to see if any others were waiting to ambush us. As it turns out there were remaining forces in their cavernous home but it turns out that they too serve the Daughter of the Frostwhite Forest. I was assured that they were who they claimed by the fact that even though I have only been on lone to their forces for a short time I had already become famous enough to have been heard of in this remote outpost of the realm. They told us of a war party a short distance away who should be able to help us reach the court. Luckily when we arrived they had a mystical device that allowed them to communicate with Lady Indzira. I wonder why I didn't get one of those. It could have been very useful to report when I had the Seed of Winter. They were probably worried that it would be detected and I would be exposed as an agent of the winter court if I needed to deal with enemy forces.
Indzira was wise in her judgement of these good but simple people. She made them emissaries to Catchlain, whom they call Catchphrase, to try to forge and alliance against Sawguin. I do not see the wisdom in letting in one evil to push out another but I am not the ruler of a realm. I do understand her choice of emissaries though. These people are large, simpleminded, uncivilized, and prone to violence so should be more able to relate to a Fomorian.
Once again Total Victory Five relied on my arcane might to provide both direction and transportation for their quest. I am still charged with returning the Seed of Winter to the Daughter of the Frostwhite forest but TVF claims to need the relic for awhile longer and as the are now working for my patron it would be uncivil to take it by force and it seems unheroic to take it by stealth and they seem to need me.
Catchlians court was much as I pictured it would be, a dank dark hole filled with misery and death but nicely furnished. The negotiation started out well. No one called him Catchprase and he didn't charge in trying to eat or enslave us (as Fomorins are prone to do). Negotiations began and somehow we negotiated ourselves down from being royal emissaries to his court to being volunteer slaves in Fomorian blood sport. I am not really sure how this helps but hopefully TVF understands Fomorian minds better than I can and this does have meaning.
We were then taken down to the arena to meet our opponents. Sure enough two people he had claimed would never work together were working together showing how much his word can be trusted. It was quite the interesting fight though. Kineera, Tyrion and I racing around the field of battle blasting and punching our enemies, Ashe standing around trying to look menacing and leader like, poor Corrin and Kriv standing off by themselves trying to act as shining bastions for us. All that armor really is shiny though, I wonder how they keep it like that on long journeys. Corrin did try to nobly take on their leader in single combat but of course all Fomorian servants saw was someone with their back turned making a good spot to put a knife.
When Ashe finally got into the fight he promptly killed someone and then told us not to kill anyone. I may have accidentally done it anyway but he started it. I am not really sure why he requested this though it is not like Fomori understand mercy. Maybe he wants to sell it as we are smart and merciless because we left them alive in a fate worse than death. We shall have to see how this all works out.
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You look like trustworthy individuals....
So I wake up with a bad headache and promise myself that I will never drink whiskey again, especially once I learn that we have to attend another boring council meeting.

But surprisingly enough, Corrin the little guy that butchered a bar full of locals to save me from a sound thrashing is there. I was all like "hey you're that guy! guys, it's that guy!" and Corrin is all "ixney on the illingkay" and I'm like "what little guy? I don't speak little guy" and he eventually gave me enough confused looks that I realized he was pretending to be not "that guy". I was a little slow (I blame the headache) and it took me a while, but I understood this was kind of a secret butchering of the locals thing which he probably didn't want the council knowing about.

So we're getting ready to figure out our next move when the council drones on about some mission or another that we're supposed to undertake. I'm like barely paying attention til they mention they want us to make King Catchphrase a best buddy of the council. I tried very diplomatically to inform them that this is a very retarded idea. King Catchphrase is not a good guy. He took our book after all! But they didn't listen. Apparently he has some portals they want use of... or stopped. we kind of preferred stopped, so technically dead means stopped right? Oh turns out Marc's buddy on the council is a dragon, which is handy because we need one to make a sword that'll kill that stupid Chillreaver and save Marc.

So we start thinking that a guide would be real handy if we have to go all the way to King Catchphrase's place in the Fey Wild when all of a sudden, there's this flash of pixie dust and there appeared our fairy cobweb. I would have expected a fairy godmother to be honest, but a cobweb works out okay too! So he's all "where's my seed of winter... I must have my seed of winter" and we're all "awww lookit how cute his little hat is" and he was all "I'm serious guys, I need the seed of winter" and we're like, "sorry, you've gotta be this tall to carry artifacts in this realm" and he got all sad. So we said "just kidding little guy, you can come with us to the Fey wild and since your employer is the real owner of this acorn thing she can have that back too". It seemed to make cobweb happy to hear this, and he agreed to transport us via his magic portal to the Fey Wild. Unfortunately he was fresh out of magic portals so we had to find an appropriate spot in town.

A quick BAMF later and we were in the Feywild, a forboding place with darkness and monsters. From cobweb's loud "whoops!" I think we got off at the wrong stop. Turns out the ArchFey who rules this section of the Fey Wild likes to be entertained. Luckily, we may be lacking in talent, efficiency, tactics, coordination, subtlety, patience and ranged attacks but one thing we do have is the ability to entertain.

With a quick tadaa! as we trounced the minions here we had won the battle, and made the ArchFey a happy smiling sunbeam. I don't know about the rest of them, but that kind of brightened my gloomy outlook too! I started thinking all positive again, and figured yeah, we'll get Marc back and stop Chillreaver once and for all... Aldanna smiled comfortingly and said "sure we will Tyrion... sure we will".

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Seed Quest
Once again my superiors have trusted me with a great task. I must retrieve the Seed Of Winter, a powerful, and ancient artifact, for its rightful owner. Alone I wandered on my quest, a true heart and just cause my only companions. Many a dark and dangerous land did I travel, many were the perils I had to overcome but nothing would keep me from my task. It even required a visit to the Murkroot Trade Moot to finally find my path. At a not inconsiderable price, but what price is to be considered when honor is at stake, I acquired a potion that would let me know the location of any item I sought. I prepared myself as best I could for the unknown battle to come, steeled my mind and focused on the Relic, drank to potion and teleported to its location. I expected the vaults of some Fomorian overlord, or a dragons cave filled with its ill gotten horde instead it was a hall in some building in the mortal realms. Still I prepared to do battle with these brash thieves and gave them the chance to honorably return the Seed of Winter to its rightful owner. It somewhat threw me aback when they agreed. I came to realize that these were poor ignorant mortals who had merely blundered upon the Relic and taken it from the true thieves. The true thieves must be punished someday but my duty is to return the Seed of Winter not pursue the villains but perhaps I will petition for the honor of righting that wrong when we return.
These poor mortals are both ignorant and capricious. They did not recognize the domain of the Prince of Frost and said we would leave two days hence which turned out to be that afternoon. I do hope they can maintain protocol at a Fey Court, it would be a shme to have to kill such poor simple creatures. Then the most amazing thing happened. My teleportation circle took me to a place I did not mean to go. This has never happened before. Alright so the Feywild Crossroad ritual has put me into odd spots and sometimes immense danger but that doesn't count, this was a circle. Obviously the Fomorian who my prisoners call King Catchphrase, which is a much better name for him, has gained even greater control of the portals in the area. This is a grave affront and one that must be answered. I should petition for the right to pursue it when I have discharged this duty. It is obviously a sign of his fear of my power that he did not draw us into his own land for his ambush. It is a slight though that he sent only a handful of Verbeeg and a few shadow snakes to try to capture me. I suppose he was not counting on me having the aid of Total Victory Five so he can be forgiven. We danced and pranced and made light of the battle, which was a rather one sided fight, for the amusement of the Archfey whose land we had intruded upon and he was happy and the sun shone and we were happy and I got to use my new cape. Now though we must return and I will be even sadder if I have to kill them.
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oh noes!
So we're in the iceberg, ready to do battle with the exarch of tiamat... cue boss music...

We enter the room and chillreaver does the standard bad guy soliloquy where we're all gonna die and he's gonna rule the world... etc. etc. etc. I attempt to negotiate the terms of the exarch's surrender when all of a sudden, Kriv just snaps and launches himself off the ledge at chillreaver, challenging him to single combat and to destroy the abomination in the name of his god... oh right... totally forgot about that Bahamut vs. Tiamat thing when we came up with our brilliant plan...

So anyways, we're watching Kriv challenge the exarch, and I was all like, "whew, that was close... it's okay everyone, Kriv's got this" but apparently he really meant him and all his buddies challenge chillreaver to single combat I guess...

The dastardly dragon counters Kriv's jump into the room by flying! the nerve of this thing! how are we supposed to beat him up if he keeps flying around the room breathing on us like that????

So I have this awesome plan of just flying over to the pedestal and taking the acorn and we can just cheese it... but unfortunately it was held in place by beams of light from these magical mirrors that we weren't supposed to break cuz they were important artifacts or something. So the acorn starts talking to me and taking over my brain and makes me jump down off this high pedestal thing. Stupid acorn. All the while Arri banana hammer is yelling at me to stay up there and get the acorn, and doing all this "what are you doing idiot?" when I'm forced to swan dive fifty feet. It's called domination Arri... geez...

So we start winning despite all this, and Ashe is all smashing up the dragon, while Marc does his signature jump on and ride maneuver that all big things really really hate. Kinerra and Lactatia were turning the mirrors to divert the magic beams... one or two might have accidentally got broken... maybe... but it was probably once we got the acorn and the place started collapsing.. yeah... that was probably how that happened...

Kriv never got his chance to kill chillreaver though (even though I was able to get him up to the ledge where all the fighting was) because just when we got the upper hand, were beating him down and took his magic brain dominating acorn, he disappeared, taking Marc with him!

Everyone started trying to get out of the iceberg as the module writers were big Conan fans and made the whole thing start collapsing when the bad guy was no more. I tried to stop them diary, and kept yelling at them that we weren't leaving without Marc. As much as I tried though, they dragged me out of there. I couldn't save him.

We were picked up by these weird dudes in a flying sleigh who gave us presents for some weird reason. Not sure what that was about. I kept looking for Marc's spirit to join us like Aldanna and Arri did. But he didn't show up. I asked Aldanna if she saw him, but sadly she just shook her head.

We get back to the town of those bastard Devas who sent us on this suicide mission to retrieve this stupid acorn. I stayed polite and calm while Kriv briefed them on what happened, but inside all I kept thinking about was new and inventive ways to kill them. Not sure what that's about. Aldanna kept saying she was worried about me. I told her to just forget about it, I was fine.

Then I have this dream which seemed so real. Marc was eating dinner in a cave, looking over into a mirror where his new best buddy Chillreaver had a brand new head. Must have been a reward from Tiamat for doing such a bang up job messing with the plane. I awoke realizing that Marc was now in league with the exarch.

Lactantia leaves the group, wishing us well. I have a talk with Arri about bringing him back, but for some reason he's fully content to live inside a hammer. What a strange little guy he is... but it's his choice, and I guess for him it immortalizes him into a dwarven weapon of war, which is kind of his thing.

So I pick up my stuff and I leave too. I just was ready to give up on this whole thing diary... what was next, hunt down Marc and kill him along with Chillreaver? I can't do it diary... I can't kill one of the last of my old friends I have. Am I destined to outlive anyone I care about, surrounding myself with their ghosts while I continue to live a haunted existence?

I ended up in this dark tavern, deciding this would be a good day to try whiskey. It always seemed to be what the dark brooding adventurers drank, and I was kind of dark and brooding these days so it seemed to fit. Funny thing is, it tastes terrible, and after only one mug full you start to feel far stranger than ale makes you...

So I'm sitting there, minding my own business, having a private conversation with Aldanna about where we go from here, when some local types begin to harp at me. They keep going on and on about something or other, and didn't even stop when I broke one of their jaws to get them to shut up. Turns out those couple of locals had a bar full of friends that seemed to not take too kindly to this and they drew weapons.

And that's when it happened diary, this little dude, sitting all by himself in the bar, climbed up on a chair, then climbed up on a table all nimble like and said in a calm loud voice in a strange accent "do not touch him". They turned around and laughed and asked him if he was willing to die too. My vision was pretty hazy diary, but I swear he cut two of their heads off before they could even stop laughing. The room began to spin, and I passed out. When I came to, this helpful little dude named Corrin said he would take me to my friends.

Maybe there's good guys left around here after all....
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The Exarch of Tiamat Take Two
We went through the secret door and came to a large cavern with several mirrors shooting light at the acorn we wanted. Kriv seeing the Exarch of his god's greatest enemy kind of lost it and jumped off the ledge and charged forward to attack him. Unfortunately for all his desire to battle his enemy his legs would not carry him so far so fast. The nasty two headed dragon just flew up to the ledge where the others were and ignored him. Tyrion jumped over to the acorn and tried to steal it. The light apparently held it in place though. Heavy light, odd idea. Ashe and Marc went in to heroicly fight the dragon while the new team members, Kineera and that Valkyrie went off to play with the mirrors. Much chaos and jumping about occurred with the dragon doing its clawing and biting and freezing breath bursts and Tyrion and the barbarian jumping off the ledges (later claiming the acorn made them do it but that seems kind of silly) and Marc jumping on the dragon.
Eventually enough mirrors were turned that Kineera was able to snatch the acorn and run. The dragon turned out to be rather cowardly and rather than pursue and try to get the acorn back it just left. Unfortunately it took Marc with it. We did have a dream later where Marc had joined with Tiamat and the dragon had an extra head, not really sure what to make of that, was Tyrion right and we had a traitor among us all this time and this was just a way to retrieve him?
Long story short version - running for life as iceberg crumbles around us, saved by flying coach with festive people on it, lobsters, mirrors and guy we were trying to save at the bottom of the ocean. Not our greatest victory but it was victory.
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My First Day as a Hammer
Being a hammer gives one a new perspective on matters. Not having a lot of decisions to make in panicky situations gives one time to reflect on how many panicky situations there have been. The battle at the ice bridge clearly showed how we think and work. The normal path is obvious. Cross stream, go up ramp to stairs, up stairs to ledge, cross ledge to bridge, cross bridge to exit room. When giants up on the ledge start throwing stuff at us we ignore this path and run off as individuals to climb the cliff up to them completely unconcerned if some of us can't climb. If Ashe had not sacrifice his flying potion to Kriv I do not believe we could have made it to the top. Ashe himself had some difficulty and was left hanging on the ice to be a perfect target While the battle raged. Luckily they were cowardly ice throwing giants who never learned to fight hand to hand properly so they were easily defeated and Kineera threw the two gaurd dogs away so they never really made it to the fight. The leader of this band cravenly surrendered and took the dogs home with him.
The battle with the gargoyles was the same. Each member of the team rushing forward trying to act the lone hero. Trying to be as impressive as the can be. Only Kriv and Kineera really seem to look at the big picture and try to act as support for a Team. There is a kind of time honored synergy to our actions but it seems more luck than good planning. And this valkerie. Hah. Impressive axe but no toughness or endurance for the long fight. How are we suppose to fight an exarch when we are so exhausted. Luckily none of the gargoyles were strong enough to carry any of us off to put on ice. Where would all her running around speediness have been then.
Yes we won the battle but our mission is to retrieve to artifact and save the people. Do we have the strength left to win the war?
On a side note I am glad hammers don't hurt when you hit things with them. I was not worried for me, It just makes me feel batter about all my years of working with hammers.
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