The Journal of BROKEN Kevin

Campaign: The places we will go.

I'm trying to help | SHE'S A PUPPET NOT A DOLL!!!!!


The hazy fog parts my vision, showing me glimpses of Leif laying bloody in a heap upon the gray cobblestone. Emotions swell up as I see a dear friend clinging to life, with nothing I can do to help him or even call out to him in this terrible moment.

I'M BLADE BITCH! SOME MOTHERFUCKERS ALWAYS TRY TO ICE SKATE UPHILL! ALEX WHISTLER! LEIF NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SHOVE A BLOOD PACK IN HIS MOUTH!

I can feel a warmth accompanied by a bright white light, piercing the darkness of my cold and unwelcoming prison. I see Courtney using her powers to heal Leif and breathe a sigh of relief. He's alive.

YAY YOU'RE NOT DEAD! DO YOUR THING ALEX WHISTLER! YEAH DRINK THAT SHIT BITCH! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! I'LL SHOW YOU LEIF!!

I can feel -him- struggle against the dread shadows that writhe unseen in the inky black that permeates everything in this terrible world. -He- answers Leif's challenge but something tells me -he- was not successful in the ways -he- hoped.

HELLO I'M THE DOCTOR! BE MY COMPANION IN TIME AND SPACE ALEX! IT'S SMALLER ON THE INSIDE! ALLONS Y! SHIT! THAT'S A SHADOW MAN!
SELF DESTRUCT TIME! FANTASTIC!


The world seems to spin wildly, the sensation of falling causing me to cling instinctively though in this place there's nothing to hold. -He- definitely failed and now has put himself and others in danger. If only I could reach out! If only I could take control!

JOEY HORSE! WHAT'VE THEY DONE TO YOU!?!? HE'S MY JOEY HORSE I'LL PUT HIM DOWN MA! BOOMSTICK!

I wrack against the shackles of my prison, forcing every bit of my energy into wrenching even a fleeting moment of control from -him-. I feel something give and in that moment focus my powers into that horrible abomination -he- created. NO...MORE...CORRUPTION.

JOEY HORSE!!!! OH WELL! TIME TO GO ALEX! OH SHIT ZOMBIES! TIME TO GET SCHWIFTY! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE MORTY! (BURP) YEAH WE MADE IT! RUN RUN RUN! OH HEY IT'S LEIF! JOEY!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT PUPPET BITCH!? TEA AND SOUP! WE'RE ALL MAD HERE! SHE'S A PUPPET NOT A DOLL JOEY!!!!! LET ME SHOW YOU THIS SHIT LEIF! HER NAME IS MARIE! DON'T BE RUDE YOU FUCK! OH COOL A MAP! SHE GONNA EAT YA JOEY! BYE MARIE!

Floating in the idea space that I call home is all I can do now, having expending everything I have dispatching that horse mockery. The glimpses are few and far between now. -He- could be doing anything and I'm none the wiser.

TUXEDO KEVIN! DANCE UPON THE ROSEY WIND! WHY AM I FALLING!? SNEAKY TIME! WHY ARE YOU ON THE FLOOR JOEY!? ALEX TURNED ME INTO A CANNONBALL! WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE TROGLODYTE MOTHERFUCKERS!? OFF TO THE NEXT FLOOR!

I can only hope -he- doesn't do anything I'll live to regret.
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Tags: Alex , BROKEN , Courtney , Joey , Kevin , Leif , Recap
Help me I'm Trapped | JOEY HORSES, JOEY EAGLES AND JOEY DRAGONS OH MY!!!


I see fragments of events that make little sense in this black void I inhabit. I struggle helplessly to focus my mind upon the things i know my body is doing.

STONEWALL JACKSON! FIRE! SPINNING IN THE DELIGHTFUL DARK!

I feel my body being hurled through a spinning void that sends shocking spikes of pain through the grey-matter prison I inhabit.

DARK SOULS! JOEY! HE’S SHOOTING ME WITH NEGATIVITY! JOEY MULE! SHIKAMARU! SHADOW CLONE JUTSU! JOEY KILLS HIMSELF! YAY!

I see glimpses of a familiar face contorted into something out of a nightmarish fever dream and flashes of nonsensical events that confuses my ever fogged mind.

TONY DANZA! JOEY, WHO’S THE BOSS!? WHO’S THE BOSS, JOEY!? JOEY KILLS HIMSELF AGAIN! OH NO! I’M ARTHAS ON A JOEY HORSE! WHA—!?

I wrestle control temporarily and force with all my strength to communicate with this familiar face, offering to help him escape from this strange place that he and my body inhabit. Using all the vitality I can muster to keep him momentarily at bay I use my power to discern a potential escape from this place and with it the tools to do so. I’m exhausted now, so he rips me back into my void-like cell.

GREAT JOEY DRAGON! I’M BORED! ALL ABOARD THE GREAT JOEY DRAGON! HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE! BYE JOEY!

I feel that lurching feeling again, like being a peeled apart and glued back together again. I can see more familiar faces but not the one i saw before. He must have left him behind. I don’t know If i can conjure any more strength to communicate with these two.

I’M KEVIN THE WHITE! GREAT JOEY EAGLE! I COME TO YOU NOW AT THE TURN OF THE TIDE! ALEX AND COURTNEY! SHADOWJOEY KING OF ALL JOEY HORSES! SHOW THEM THE MEANING OF SPEED! WAIT, GO BACK! UGLY ROCK! NOW HE’S JOEY ROCK! NOT AGA—

I feel a distant familiarity, a far-off friend in great danger and the machinations of dread powers hoping to consume them whole. I have to do something. You have to tell them! Please!

TELL LEIF THIS THING JOEY! DON’T IGNORE ME! IM ANGRY NOW! GRAAAAAAAA!!!! TAKE THIS SHADOWJOEY! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! TAKE THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

I can feel his childish anger lashing out and I’m thankful those two are not the outlet of his anger. Constructs are a fine substitute. Perhaps he will use this anger in ways that can help Leif and Joey.

LEEEEEEEEEEEEIFFF!!!!! FOCUS ON ME YOU FUCK! DAMNIT LEIF! YOU FUCKED IT UP!

For a moment I felt like Leif was here with me in this black prison of my mind, before the subconscious space bounced him violently back out. He’s better off not sharing my prison but he’s still in danger! If only I could reach him! Digging deep in my reserves I focus everything I can to communicate with Alex and Courtney. Alex is resisting my idea of going to them instead of bringing them to us…this will be problematic. I feel my control slipping away quickly, all I can hope for is that this train will continue with that nightmare at the wheel.

SHUT UP ALEX! I’M CAPTAIN PLANET! HE’S OUR HERO! GONNA TAKE US ALL TO LEIF AND JOEY! GONNA HELP THEM WITH WHATEVER! NOW GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING POWER! BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED!

Success! That horrible lurching feeling returns but this time far worse than before, like being ground up into a mush by a mixer. The pressure is incredible. I can feel a web of strange black tentacles resisting our arrival. This may have been a mistake.

BLOODBORNE WORLD! I’M VAMPIRE HUNTER D NOW! FACE HAND JOEY! RETARDED ROBOT JOEY HORSE! SHUT UP ALEX! FUNNY PEOPLE! TENTACLES EVERYWHERE! TO THE LANTERN! LEIF SHAPED BLOODSTAIN! TOUCH THE LANTERN!

No, This was definitely a mistake.
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Tags: Alex , BROKEN , Courtney , Joey , Kevin , Leif , Recap