"I haven't been there before, let's go! Will Megan be there?"
User: Mike
Race: Halfling - not a stupid human!
Gender: Male
Role: Striker
Class/Level: Thief (Am not, I'm a swordsman.)/14
Thank goodness I'm not as tall as a stupid human. I am just the right height to look up our eladrin's skirt. She doesn't wear underwear. I'm also the perfect size for climbing up the goliath. That gives me a really good view and increases the range of my sling. I know a great tailor who lives in Overlook. He made me a tuxedo that I wear whenever Megan is around. It has a ruffly shirt and really wide lapels. My friends all tell me I look good when I wear it but I'm not sure why they laugh when they say it. Oh well, maybe they need more coffee.
I am sure I was born somewhere, but I don't remember where. I like to travel so I don't really call any place home. One time I travelled across the desert to find a dwarven mine. I looked good in my fez and curly-toed boots. I should wear them more often. Another time, I sailed the astral sea. That was fun because I got to dress as a pirate. Arr. After that, we stopped in a city with a weird name and I had to convince everyone to join together and defend the place. That was fun because the glass maker was a spy and I got to break all the windows out of his house. Serves him right. Maybe I'll move into his mansion after Megan marries me.
I like coffee! Coffee, coffee, coffee. . . can't have enough coffee. Did you know human children are afraid of spiders? One time I met an old man who could talk to birds. He let me hold one. Humans are stupid, smelly, pig-farts and they steal dragon helments from you. Megan is beautiful and she like me a lot. She had to have the city guard keep me away from her one time because she was so attracted to me she kept throwing things at me. I don't think she can control herself in my presence. We are going to be married someday.