I never did think it would happen to me! My life rocks!
It's been a while, but man, this last week. It's like: Dear Vengance Paladin's awesomeness coalition, I never thought it would happen to me. . .

Note to self: found the Paladins of Vengance Awesomeness Coalition. Soon.

So we found this giant-ass vulture flying around, looking for food, and it decides Volta and I look the most meaty (it was right) and grabs us. While it's flying, Verity hypnotizes it so it just drifts into the other side of a five hundred foot tall cliff down to a rushing river. Right as it's crashing there Volta and I get on top of it to ride it down like the world's first giant bird wranglers. We're trying to hold on, grabbing wings and shit to stop it from recovering. So it hits the ground with us on top of it at maximum speed, flinging us on and knocking Volta senseless. That would have been awesome enough, but then the bird gets back up! We're still fighting! In retrospect it would have been way cooler to just let the bird start flying again so we could have an epic battle, but Volta came to her senses and just beat the ever-living shit out of it with me before it really recovered too much. Oh well, there's always next time. Please let there be a next time.

Yep. That big. Except I look more awesome than that turd on top.

So afterwards we decide to go deal with the hags in the probably-late Kyne's mill. We show up, kill a bunch of demons, and the hags are nowhere to be seen. I head inside looking to buy one last dream pie before we murder them when the big hag proves why she's the Borovian National Hugging League Champion thirty years running. I'm talking big strong half-orc wearing full plate just getting squeezed in a way I haven't been since I was just a wee lad visiting my grandma with my dad. And this time she didn't even put me in a death fight with wolves! Man, family can be a hoot, right? Verity helps me out, we get into a little fight, and next thing I know I'm alone on the landing to the second floor, no easy way down the stairs, and the oldest hag flying outside the window.

So I did what any reasonable person would do and threw myself out the window at her. Broke her fly spell and we both landed on the ground swearing vengance against the next thing that hurt us. Then she left, the last of her coven. I remember thinking she was just going to head back to whatever plane she was from and probably spread some nasty rumors, but maybe we'd find more dream pies in our future.

Then that night, the revenant I got my sword from shows back up to kill me! I know, I had the BEST DAY EVER! Kyne was super cool about it too, and let me fight the guy on my own. He told me he'll be back - I can't wait. We're going to be stronger and I'm going to get him in a holy book at some point. We'll be arch-enemies in the background of a larger story, really only still in the story to not bore the audience with too much morality or whatever the "real" lesson is. That's what I want my legacy to be.

Basically this, but with chainmail over the top. Way too cute!

But anyway, a few days later we're on our way to Castle Ravenloft to look for some shit and I learned something important: I need my beauty sleep. If I'm cranky I start snapping at people and Kyne can't let it drop and Cira starts yelling and the waffles get burned and it's just not good for harmony. Turns out I may have been cursed or posessed or infiltrated or something by that last hag, and we need to get me un-whatever'ed before I can get a proper night's rest.

Shit, maybe I should have asked the banshee about that. She'd probably know. We'll have to ask when we go back for her treasure and I'm in a better mood.
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You totally get an inspiration for all that. AND thanks to the unbelievable abuse you've taken over the last few sessions, you can recover the use of your Lay on Hands ability once on a short rest sometime during the next session. Alternately, you can use your half-orc racial ability to remain at 1 hit point twice during the session, whichever comes first!