Help me I'm Trapped | JOEY HORSES, JOEY EAGLES AND JOEY DRAGONS OH MY!!!


I see fragments of events that make little sense in this black void I inhabit. I struggle helplessly to focus my mind upon the things i know my body is doing.

STONEWALL JACKSON! FIRE! SPINNING IN THE DELIGHTFUL DARK!

I feel my body being hurled through a spinning void that sends shocking spikes of pain through the grey-matter prison I inhabit.

DARK SOULS! JOEY! HE’S SHOOTING ME WITH NEGATIVITY! JOEY MULE! SHIKAMARU! SHADOW CLONE JUTSU! JOEY KILLS HIMSELF! YAY!

I see glimpses of a familiar face contorted into something out of a nightmarish fever dream and flashes of nonsensical events that confuses my ever fogged mind.

TONY DANZA! JOEY, WHO’S THE BOSS!? WHO’S THE BOSS, JOEY!? JOEY KILLS HIMSELF AGAIN! OH NO! I’M ARTHAS ON A JOEY HORSE! WHA—!?

I wrestle control temporarily and force with all my strength to communicate with this familiar face, offering to help him escape from this strange place that he and my body inhabit. Using all the vitality I can muster to keep him momentarily at bay I use my power to discern a potential escape from this place and with it the tools to do so. I’m exhausted now, so he rips me back into my void-like cell.

GREAT JOEY DRAGON! I’M BORED! ALL ABOARD THE GREAT JOEY DRAGON! HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE! BYE JOEY!

I feel that lurching feeling again, like being a peeled apart and glued back together again. I can see more familiar faces but not the one i saw before. He must have left him behind. I don’t know If i can conjure any more strength to communicate with these two.

I’M KEVIN THE WHITE! GREAT JOEY EAGLE! I COME TO YOU NOW AT THE TURN OF THE TIDE! ALEX AND COURTNEY! SHADOWJOEY KING OF ALL JOEY HORSES! SHOW THEM THE MEANING OF SPEED! WAIT, GO BACK! UGLY ROCK! NOW HE’S JOEY ROCK! NOT AGA—

I feel a distant familiarity, a far-off friend in great danger and the machinations of dread powers hoping to consume them whole. I have to do something. You have to tell them! Please!

TELL LEIF THIS THING JOEY! DON’T IGNORE ME! IM ANGRY NOW! GRAAAAAAAA!!!! TAKE THIS SHADOWJOEY! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! TAKE THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

I can feel his childish anger lashing out and I’m thankful those two are not the outlet of his anger. Constructs are a fine substitute. Perhaps he will use this anger in ways that can help Leif and Joey.

LEEEEEEEEEEEEIFFF!!!!! FOCUS ON ME YOU FUCK! DAMNIT LEIF! YOU FUCKED IT UP!

For a moment I felt like Leif was here with me in this black prison of my mind, before the subconscious space bounced him violently back out. He’s better off not sharing my prison but he’s still in danger! If only I could reach him! Digging deep in my reserves I focus everything I can to communicate with Alex and Courtney. Alex is resisting my idea of going to them instead of bringing them to us…this will be problematic. I feel my control slipping away quickly, all I can hope for is that this train will continue with that nightmare at the wheel.

SHUT UP ALEX! I’M CAPTAIN PLANET! HE’S OUR HERO! GONNA TAKE US ALL TO LEIF AND JOEY! GONNA HELP THEM WITH WHATEVER! NOW GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING POWER! BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED!

Success! That horrible lurching feeling returns but this time far worse than before, like being ground up into a mush by a mixer. The pressure is incredible. I can feel a web of strange black tentacles resisting our arrival. This may have been a mistake.

BLOODBORNE WORLD! I’M VAMPIRE HUNTER D NOW! FACE HAND JOEY! RETARDED ROBOT JOEY HORSE! SHUT UP ALEX! FUNNY PEOPLE! TENTACLES EVERYWHERE! TO THE LANTERN! LEIF SHAPED BLOODSTAIN! TOUCH THE LANTERN!

No, This was definitely a mistake.
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Tags: Alex , BROKEN , Courtney , Joey , Kevin , Leif , Recap