If it weren't for bad luck...
The ability fer Aral luck to overcome that misery that is the general lot of Salps was still underpowered despite the dwindlin’ numbers of our temporary Regular comrades-in-arms as we’d barely thought about stoppin’ t’grab a bit of somethin’ t’eat when someone spots a rustlin’ in some scrub ahead just before a blighted owlbear – yes, I said owlbear and it looks just like what its name implies that bein’ the unholy union of an owl and a bear – pops up out of said scrub. Fur and feathers fluffed out in a display of pure orneriness, as the only attitudinal settin’ these critters have is half-past thrice chaffed, it let out a roarin’ hoot what’s even more frightsome than its appearance and that words nae have the power t’describe adequately.

As we were a’horse and had been ridin’ along I’d my bow, or rather the bow we’d found on the ogres what was of considerable better make than mine so’s I was usin’ it until I got my own, but as I was sayin’ a bow in my hands instead of my harp and havin’ heard from Da exactly how vicious, ferocious, cantankerous and just plain maliciously aggressive these critters were I wasted no time in lettin’ fly an arrow toward the brute. Fortunate fer me they’re nigh on as big as a barn so’s I was actually able t’hit the cussed thin’ as did Raylen, quite a bit more vitally placed I might add, as Fearghus kinda quirked a brow at what was goin’ on and Arcelli slided off of his horse t’get some room t’limber up that big-arse bow of his. What with the Regulars bein’ behind us a bit they’d no notion of what exactly they was walkin’ int’the teeth of… or beak of rather as owlbears nae have teeth but I’m digressin’ me with details.

Raylen an’ I hit again, thank the gods fer small favors when asked politely, and Fearghus must’ve followed the projectiles t’their logical conclusion in the varmint’s carcass which prompted him t’hop off ol’ Favo and sidle critterward as Arcelli gave him cover fire what dinnae hit but kept the critter lookin’ at the ranger instead of the merc. I was a might busy t’turn around and see what the Regulars was contemplatin’ as I was concentratin’ too hard on nae hittin’ Fearghus on my next shot as that big monstrosity charged itself up t’Arcelli and the Aral and took as swipe but I managed nae only t’miss my fellers but also t’hit about the same time Raylen did. Fearghus put up a nice display of defense so’s Arcelli could get some distance t’bring his shots t’bear which left him the only one toe t’toe with the beastie which could’ve been right bad right quick but out of the corner of my eye I caught the movement of the Regulars as the hauled it up t’the fight double quick.

The thin’ musta been lookin’ over Fearghus’ shoulder at the Regulars ‘cause it dinnae even try t’dodge the great swipe our Araldite friend landed direct in its ribs knockin’ a wheezy roar-squawk and a surprised look out of it which was followed in rapid succession by my arrow, another from Arcelli and two bolts from the Regulars as Raylen slung his bow over his saddle horn and prepared t’make those what got cuffed around stay on the right side of the burial mound as the Regulars’ swordsmen had arrived and give a good poke t’the varmint too. With all the bodies surroundin’ the critter I was nae surprised when I missed… I was surprised that every other archer on the field did but it turned out t’be no matter as one of the Regulars landed a good slice and Ermanno did that run up and swipe from crotch t’craw that he’d pulled on the ogre which elicited the self-same result; dead critter.

I was fair surprised, but had the tact nae t’say anythin’ out loud about it mind ye, that we had just as many Regulars at the end of the fight as we did at the beginnin’ and everyone had all of their limbs intact. Says I that as Namen was needin’ giant owl feathers maybe he’d like some big-arsed owlbear feathers too so’s I plucked some of the choice tail feathers fer that purpose before Arcelli had ‘em all yanked and stuck in his hair – I’ll leave my comments on Salpian versus Araldite levels of social sophistication fer another discussion as I have mentioned the subject before and nae want t’beat it int’the ground – and as these critters eschew clothes there was no pockets t’check so’s I hops back up on Canuto and wait patiently fer Fearghus t’lop off the head of the beastie so’s the Regulars can get credit fer it with their major or admiral or what the blast ever it is they call who they answer t’when they’re nae answerin’ t’a captain.

The best part of travelin’ back to Ebete is that the closer we got the less likely we was t’see any maraudin’ beasties and that’s just what happened fer the rest of the three days we trekked it back which suited me right down t’the ground. On about my fourth ale in Ebete it dawned on me that the most dangerous part of my journey has yet t’take place; I’d forgotten t’send word back t’Sottovelo and Auntie Mo so’s it’d been three weeks she’d nae known if I was quick or dead. I knew I was in fer a right-epic skaldin’ when I got back which might just have been why I simply couldnae slake my thirst no matter how many rounds I drank.
Session: Game Three... or Whaddaya mean we need 300 more goblins? - Saturday, Jul 23 2011 from 1:30 AM to 11:30 AM
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Tags: Battle , Booze