I've learned t'make bad situations my friend...
Why is it that I ne’er remember that competin’ and holdin’ my own in drinkin’ contests at Grizzard’s leaves me with a hand-knotted rug where my tongue used t’ride? And who-so-ever said ye cannae brew bread has ne’re had the pleasure of samplin’ the holdin’s of Master Thumphammer’s extensive cellars – fer if there’s a body of any ilk, race, creed or color that can brew a stout that’ll put chest on yer chest it’d be that dwarf and fer anyone a little slow on the uptakin’ – that is a compliment. I’m fair certain that I managed to sprain somethin’ in my voice box with the amount of singin’ I did, but as that’s the primary reason I was brought along I consider the evenin’ a right smashin’ success. But I may be gettin’ a bit ahead of myself so’s I’ll back it up a bit…

Namen, knowin’ that the four of us are likely t’be managin’ fetch and carry fer him in town as well as out, thought it were high time we met the majority of the masters merchant of Laescaerta so’s he arranges fer us t’accompany him t’a gatherin’ bein’ hosted at Gamla Wols which fer those of ye nae in the knowin’ is Master Grizzard Thumphammer’s mead hall and meetin’ house. Grizzard is a capital respected dwarf whose opinion and good graces form the only accepted gateway betwixt dwarfish tradesmen’s goods and Salpian gold which is t’say that if a dwarf wants t’do business in Laescaerta he’s got t’keep Master Thumphammer happy and if a Salp wants t’pay a reasonable price fer stunty-made wares he’s in the same boat so’s t’speak. The understandin’, though, is that anyone at Thumphammer’s is an alright sort of feller or lass there’s nae much t’worry on – though the measure of a person can usually be summed up right quick if conversation has been liberally lubricated.

I’ve mentioned singin’ and feats of imbibin’ in a cordially confrontational manner already which goes by way of settin’ up the general mood I was in which is t’say I was in right high spirits both literally and figuratively so’s when Namen comes back from where’re it were that he’d wandered off t’ towin’ a pup of a dwarf (judged by shortness of beard and lack of gray in said pitiable face rug) and a grimace behind his smile fit t’curdle fresh goat milk my guard came up double quick. Says he that this stunty is t’join us on our next outin’ and that if we’ll be so kind as to excuse him he’ll be right back then slips out the opposite door leavin’ said dwarf feller and a slew of questions in our exclusive company.

Raylen, bein’ the learned and amiable feller that he is, hails the dwarf in his own tongue – a garble of garglin’ that I’ve nae learned fer fear it would ruin my singin’ voice fer any proper language – t’which the feller growls back in a tone that a body nae needs words t’understand of sheer cussedness. I may have mentioned before that I’m far from fond of folks what treats others ill fer no other reason than t’vent their own spleen and if I’ve nae mentioned it before y’know now. Havin’ some git throw grumbles on my otherwise lovely evenin’ got my blood up in a hurry so’s I commenced t’skaldin’ this chucklehead in every language my tongue could feather givin’ him a right good taste of his own bitter medicine. I finished up in Salp – which he failed t’see the ass-backwardness of him speakin’ when he wanted no Salp t’speak dwarf – that as it was already decreed that he’d be travelin’ with us he’d be wisest nae t’chaff the only healer likely t’be holdin’ him on the right side of the darkest veil.

I stuck out my arm and offered him a start over t’which he insults me by grabbin’ my hand like I’m some filly-fingered Salp trollop! I yanked my mitt back and grabbed his wrist in a proper grip and gave him a squeeze that made his bones creak tellin’ him t’shake hands like a proper Aral knowin’ full well it’s the same bloody way dwarfs greet each other as we’d been watchin’ it all night and if he’d had half as much smarts as he thought he did he’d have seen Brodie and Fearghus do the same. He hung his handle out there as Bardemer which is about the point I quit payin’ attention t’him as I nae felt like givin’ any more lessons in etiquette but Raylen and Arcelli – who the lil’ bugger insulted as well – chatted on with him a bit but he’d fair well killed the conversation until Namen came back.

I could tell by the jumpin’ of the muscle in our employer’s jaw that he was nae entirely pleased with whate’re it was he was about t’spark on us which nae sat very well with me but he also had that 'cat what drank the cream' look on his face so's I was nae sure what precisely was afoot. Says he that Bardemer’s uncle has agreed that if the whelp joins us he can “ease some of his obligations” which is Salpian for “get his stunty arse out of whate’re sling it’s in” utilizin’ the four of us in Namen's employ. I begin t'see why he's lookin' smug for if'n the paragon of the dwarfish community asks ye a favor, it's fair certain ye be 'arrived' as the Salps call it. Of course, given my state of mind I was slight chaffed because I thought I’d left my days of bairn tendin’ behind me in Aral. Ah well, in fer a copper in for a crown!
Session: Woo! Road Trip!! - Friday, Aug 05 2011 from 6:45 PM to 4:45 AM
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Tags: Booze