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Tyrion
Posted in Scales of War
We win! no we lose! oh wait we win again!
So we're all like, "hey Catchphrase, check out how good we battled, beat up all your champions... and stuff" and he was totally ignoring us! What a jerk! He just kind of grunted all bored and stuff, not even giving us any snappy one liners or anything! I mean how did this guy become King Catchphrase anyways??? Why would everyone call him that???

Anyways, he was all like "kill each other, uggg" and we were all like "no way man, total victory five plus traitor-fairy don't play that way" and just as we were about to beat the ugly right out of him, he pressed a magic button which apparently transports anyone he's annoyed with into a holding cell. So this apparently will end us in an infinite loop because even if we get out of here and try to stop him, he's going to just press his "I win" button and transport us back in here.

So first thing's first and we gotta get out of here. We tried bullying our way out, telling the lacky that we were going to bust out and beat everyone up in true Total Victory Five plus traitor fairy style.. but they didn't appear to be too worried.

A gnome in a nearby cell offers to help us break out and we're all, "sure little guy, you can spring this place with us" but then we have another plan to talk to esophagus to see if HE is really the real king (as he seems actually more capable to throwing out a catchphrase or two and the Formorian King seems like kind of a derp). We demand to see esophagus and the guards take us to go speak to him. Unfortunately for our creepy gnome buddy, our ADD kicked in and we forgot him in his cell. We're pretty good at remembering to come back for prisoners though, so I'm sure we'll be back!

So the Cyclops guards bring us out of there, and suddenly there's these little dudes springing all the dangerous animals from the dangerous animals pens. This normally would be a time to point out the risks inherent with having dangerous animal pens in your house, but there was no time, and the guards offered to put in a good word with King Catchphrase if we helped them out. So sure, seemed like a good plan, what could go wrong? Oh right... there was a roper here as a guard who apparently slept right through the whole little dudes springing all the dangerous animals from the dangerous animal pens part and only woke up in time to start beating US up! Not cool Mr. Roper... not cool.

So we help the guards out, who apparently forget they can tell the roper to stop attacking us this whole time. We're able to get the dangerous animals back into the dangerous animals pens.

Apparently the quick little dudes are part of Bob Segar's evil plans. Which apparently are to let loose the pets in the house to run amok. I mean seriously Bob Segar? That's your evil plan? Make the fomorians have to chase their pets back in their cages??? Yeah I can see why the whole of the Fey Wild has to ally against your ultimate power. We better stop him before he loosens all the lids on the salt shakers next...
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