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Tyrion
Posted in Scales of War
Rakshasa's totally wrecked lunch!
We go speak to esophogus and he invites us to dinner, which kind of seemed suspicious like, but we were due for a snack anyways, so what's the worst that can happen? There's a whole bunch of people in here who were apparently all snubbed by King Catchphrase. There was a satyr there named Newton who had this irritating habit of repeating everything he said, then wondered why Catchphrase wouldn't see him. wouldn't see him. seriously it was like two minutes and Best Buddy Ashe was wanting to punch this guy out. There was a relative of Catchphrase there that was a cyclops, who couldn't even get an audience, and this mildly hot devil-girl who looked bad in a good way. Kriv kept emphatically telling me "no Tyrion" whenever I started to go over and talk with her. Then Sharon, Lois and Bram Ironfell showed up. Remember Bram? The douchiest dwarf that ever douched? Yep, that guy, looking all sad and trapped by his gith-bad escorts that were obviously guarding him. Good on ya douche... good on ya... there might be a lesson in there about not being a dick.

So Kriv insisted on bribing esophogus into petitioning catchphrase on our behalf. Ashe started talking all funny and twitching his eye at us. We thought he must be having a seizure so we put a splint in his mouth and held him down for a bit. He didn't seem to like it very much, but we probably saved his life so he should be thanking us. Esophogus left with Kriv's money. I told Kriv that I thought that maybe esophogus might be a bad guy, so he went running off after him to get his money back. Problem was, when he did, esophogus went and smooth talked him into giving it back. Sigh.. poor Kriv, I TOLD him this was a bad plan, but he did it anyways. Dragonborn are loyal friends, but sometimes they're kind of derps.

Anyways it turns out that esophogus poisoned all the food. Good thing that the mildly hot devil-girl made me so nervous I couldn't eat anything. A bunch of weird backwards hands tiger things tried to ambush the sleepy guests and sort of sleepy total victory five. This was not greeaaaat at all, despite what the tiger things kept saying.

So we smashed up the tigers which were actually rakshasa's who remember everything and hold a grudge when they're reincarnated. Hope that one remembers when I punched him in the nose and he cried like a little girl. That was awesome.

Anyhow, we wake up our friends and the rest of the guests and finally head after esophogus... Kriv protesting the whole time and mad at ME for absolutely no reason at all.... I think he didn't want to feel like a dummy for handing over all that cash... it didn't even cheer him up when we brought up the super expensive astral skiff he left tied to a dock with a rope. Yeah, no one will walk off with that... not with that rope you got on there... might even have two knots on it.

Anyways, Tinkerfail decides to use his magic fairy nob to get us past the locked doors, just in time to interrupt esophogus and Catchphrase in a conversation that might have been private. As in requiring a locked door. We announce to Catchphrase that esophogus is totally a bad guy who stole Kriv's money and then didn't even bribe the King like we asked AND totally had rakshasas ambush and kill people who HE drugged. Kriv was so shocked and surprised at this new information that he just kind of lost it. poor guy... and challenged esophogus to a mighty one on one duel to settle this once and for all! King Catchphrase agreed and they were led off to fight. In the meantime we spoke to the cyclops who said esophogus "took ma job" and find out that she was betrayed by esophogus just like poor dim Kriv. We could probably have used this information earlier, but then we wouldn't get to see epic Kriv on Esophogus mega-battle!

This is gonna be awesome.....

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